Friends. Relationships. Love
Some people you meet for a season but some you meet for a reason.
Friendship can start when stop expecting, wanting something from the other.
If you have a single genuine friend in your life you are gifted, privileged, and blessed. Genuine friendships have to overcome challenges, need proof. Latest then we realize what to expect, what the stripped situation of this friendship looks like. It takes some time to fully understand, to “see, read & trust” someone to can call him/her a friend.
I’ve observed there are companions for a limited time. They appear with the aim to disappear from the surface after a certain period. In the aftermath we understand, see clearly what the purpose of these timely limited interactions with another human stood for, was supposed to be.
Someday it dawned on me that the oldest friends and friendships weren’t always the best ones. They have worn out, lost spark and inspiration, even trust. One knew each other for ages but lost inner connection, common spirit. Nothing worthy to say or discuss anymore. We have become strangers.
Quite a few, in their youth a so-called “free thinker, a rebel” mutated to a small mind and square head. Even regret, feeling embarrassed for “the sins of our youth”. Once a ring on the finger some turned into marionettes of their wives, had to function and to obey to their needs and desires. Or vice versa. These men had lost what they once were standing for, have decreased in their masculinity but most of all have lost their humor and inspiring craziness. Our ways of friendship have departed, the spark was gone.
To fall in love is pretty easy. To keep love alive needs a lot more. If a man and a woman truly fit has to be discovered over time. As soon as couples are living together, have to face the challenges of routine and turbulences of daily life patterns it’s turning a bit more challenging. One has to protect, to keep love in a safe place. To being prepared against all odds and negative influences but need to stay open-minded from the mind and heart at all times.
We humans are constantly searching for closeness, trust, and affection. We desire to be understood and respected. To feel loved and appreciated for our values, for the human we are but not for what we possess. Each human stands for himself but almost no one can be alone. We need a social life, connections, and interactions with others to see and understand ourselves better, to assess and classify.
I’ve watched many married couples and relationships for a long time. Whenever, and this appears more randomly than often, by observing, to meeting a happy and fulfilled couple I feel happy. For them and for me. We should listen carefully to fortunate couples to what’s their secret of long-lasting love alive. Listen to what and how they are talking about each other.
One quickly realizes that these fortunate couples are talking and reflecting about each other full of appreciation, kindness, love, and respect. Devoted by a deep understanding of the other. Seeing him/her as an independent human and counterpart with free will and freedom in thinking, doing, giving, and taking. To find the right coordinates to and for each other though.
To love a human shines most of all due respect and acceptance. But not by manipulating, reversing, to shape the partner by following own interests and desires, to subject a partner to one’s own vision. But to give personal freedom to each other instead, to meet at common intersections of thinking and feeling. To share the things and thoughts that provide insight, happiness, and all-around good vibrations. But sharing sadness and rainy days as well.
Love is for sure not something shaped by mutual commands and prohibitions. This misconception of love is like a bird stopped singing, being trapped, abandoned in a cage. Love mostly stays alive when it’s focused on mutual respect and gratitude, genuine caring, and a deep interest in each other. True love embraces kindness and unshakable trust, faith. It provides a holistic understanding, common feeling, and much patience with and for each other.
Genuine and inspiring long-lasting vivid love needs swing in stereo. More Dur than Moll. More Major than Minor.
Thank you for your time, this has been Otto F. Gatternigg with Kindness.